New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
