How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
