You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
