Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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