I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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