Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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