Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
