don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
