Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
