if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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