I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Pants are for mortals
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