I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize