Kiss
Puke
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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