and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
