and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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