Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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