he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
