she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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