Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
