Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
