I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
