she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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