Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
should my penis look like a turkey
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
