Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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