Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
