I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
