I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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