Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
