I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
