the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
