I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize