I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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