Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
