I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You made out with two different species that night
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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