Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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