Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
