can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
