Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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