theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's shark week go big or go home
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