Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
