I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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