her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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