do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
