if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize