I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
