vagina is talking i cant
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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