Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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