covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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