Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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