Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
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