I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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