I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
