We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
