dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
