Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
