you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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