I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize