Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
