That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
