butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize