Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
