Buhtt sex?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
