Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
