who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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