Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i need some magic done to my vagina
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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