Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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