You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
