He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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