I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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