If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
