Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
