so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
