Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm just crazy horny about you
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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