Moan for me like Helen Keller
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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