yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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